


Douglas Eiffel's Great/Stupid Plan

by fangirl_squee



Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: F/M, Sharing a Body, set early season 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:14:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24995938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirl_squee/pseuds/fangirl_squee
Summary: Eiffel comes up with a Super Great Plan to get Hera off the station with them. It’s asecretplan, but it turns out that uploading the consciousness of another being, even a small part of it, makes it hard to act natural.
Relationships: Doug Eiffel/Hera
Comments: 21
Kudos: 72





	Douglas Eiffel's Great/Stupid Plan

Eiffel peered around the corner before pushing off from the wall as quietly as possible. Luckily, low gravity and the ambient creakiness of the Hephaestus was great for disguising the noise of what Eiffel was referring to as his Super Secret Rescue Plan: Step Three: Freaky Science Edition.

Convincing Hera to even think about agreeing to do this (step one), and actually coming up with a way to do it that didn’t have an 100% chance of station-wise shut down and/or his immediate and gruesome death (step two) had been a lot harder, comparatively. Well, so far. He would probably feel differently once they actually started on the freaky science part.

“Hera,” whispered Eiffel, “I’m at the lab. Don’t turn on the light until I shut the door, okay?”

“Oka-ay Officer Eiffel.”

Eiffel pulled the door closed gently, plunging himself into darkness. The room had a faint chemical smell, reminding Eiffel of high school science classes. He waited in the pitch black of the room for a moment, ears straining for any sound of an approaching Lovelace or Minkowski.

It wasn’t as though either of them were  _ opposed _ to getting Hera off of the station, but he didn’t think they exactly be on board with this particular line of thinking, which was why he and Hera were doing this at the very possible last minute, while Minkowski and Lovelace were busy on the other side of the station giving the escape pod one last check before lift off. Eight hours to go wasn’t exactly giving themselves a big window if they found something wrong, and it definitely wasn’t giving him a lot of time to think of a plan B if this didn’t work.

“Officer Eiffel?” said Hera.

“Yeah,” Eiffel let out a breath. “Yeah I think we’re good to go, babe. Let’s see what we’ve got.”

Eiffel blinked as Hera activated the fluorescents, trying to get his bearings in the now-bright room. He’d been in the lab a few times, but those trips had mostly been related to the biannual physical, so he’d been pretty distracted at the time. He and Minkowski hadn’t really touched things since Christmas, other than to search for the hard drives. 

“So what exactly am I looking for here in Dexter’s laboratory?”

“It’s an automated surgery chamber. A-according to the records it’s at least as tall a-as the cupboards in the far right corner, you-ou should be able to see it.”

“It is like a whacked out looking dentist chair?” 

Hera’s systems hummed for a moment. “it  _ d-does _ have a seating compon-ent.”

The machine was at least twice Eiffel’s height, almost touching the ceiling. A worn leather seat was in the middle of a metal and glass chamber, with thick wires running up the outside of the glass, connecting the small computer system with a series of small robotic arms in the top of the chamber. On the end of each robotic arm was a different and horrifying tool. Eiffel let out a shaky breath.

“Yeah,” said Effiel, his voice coming out a few octaves higher than he’s intended, “I’d say this is it.”

“Officer Eiffel ...” said Hera, “are you  _ sure _ you-ou want to do this?”

“Sure I’m sure!” said Eiffel, trying to keep his voice light, “you’re just sticking something up into my brain stem, why wouldn’t I be sure about this?”

“Officer Eiffel,” said Hera, “Seriously, this isn’t exactly advisable. If you want back ou-out of this -”

“I don’t! I mean, I mostly don’t,” said Eiffel.

He looked up at the array of medical instruments connected to the machine he was about to get into. The  _ pointy, sharp, about to go into his brain _ medical instruments. It was hard to ignore the wave of panic, but to walk away from the plan now … it would mean Hera would be left behind. And then blown up. And then fall into the star. Which, obviously, he was very much against all three of those things happening.

Eiffel squared his shoulders. “It’s not like we have any other options here, Hera! Lovelace and Minkowski are putting the final touches on Project Get Us The Hell Home Volume Two and it’s not like there’s enough room on that nuclear-powered tin can for you as-is. All we’ve gotta do is just... make a travel-sized version.”

Hera paused. “If this goes wrong, you cou-ould die.”

Eiffel snorted. “Well that’s kind of been a summary of my time here anyway. At least I’d be going out on a consistent note.”

“ _ Officer Effiel _ !”

Eiffel looked up. He still had no real idea of where Hera’ fibre optics were in any given room, but looking up always felt like the right motion.

“I’m  _ not  _ leaving you here, Hera. I said I’d do whatever it took to get you out of here with us, and I meant it okay? So let’s just - let’s just do this before the commanding duo come looking for me.”

“Ok-ay,” said Hera, “I’ll have to walk you through the conn-nection-on sequence so that I can access the chamber. What we’re trying to do isn’t exactly in the pre-set proced-ures.”

It wasn’t a long process, just negating the pre-programmed commands on the chamber’s system that kept it disconnected from Hera’s network. Eiffel paused every so often, listening for the sounds of Lovelace or Minkowski.

The chamber made a whirring sound as it booted up, and the robotic arms twitched. Eiffel took a step back.

“Hera?”

“Ju-ust testing the controls Eiffel. I think we’re ready t-to-o begin.”

Eiffel swallowed hard. “Okay, let’s do this.” He took off his hoodie and settled into the seat gingerly.

“All I have to do is insert a sm-small piece of hardware into the base of your neck,” said Hera, the glitch in her voice echoing in the chamber, ‘and then I can uploa-d the core part of my person-personality into you. If I work as fast as c-can, it sh-should-d be all over in ten to fifteen minutes. The AI programming I leave behind in the Hephaestus will maintain-n the systems as well as I c-could, at least for the next forty-eight hours or so.”

“I know, I know, I know. Quick and incredibly painful.”

“Are you read-dy to begin?”

Eiffel let out a breath, flexing his hands, putting them inside the wrist cuffs on the armrests.

“Ready as I’ll ever be darlin’.”

The wrist restraints clicked shut.

“Hera, uh, if I don’t make it out of this -”

“You’re going to be fi-ine Eiffel,” said Hera, attempting a soothing tone, “I know what I’m doing.”

“No, I know, but, just in case, I want you to know that I - I mean, I just wanted to make sure that you -” Eiffel closed his eyes, and let out a slow breath, “I want you to know that I care about you, okay?”

There was a pause. Eiffel could hear his heartbeat over the steady hum of the chamber.

“Hera?”

“I care about you too Officer Eiffel, and I’m not go-going to let anything hap-happen to you. Everything is going-ing to be fine. Just t-trust me, okay?”

“I do! Okay,” Eiffel flexed his hands again, feeling the tightness of the restraints. “Okay, I’m ready. Let’s do this.”

Eiffel could hear the whirring of the robotic arms above him and they began to move, and tried to tamp down on the panic bubbling up inside him. 

“I’m going to inject the an-anaesthetic now, okay Eiffel?” said Hera, “There might be so-ome loss of consciousness”.

“That’s okay,” said Eiffel, trying to keep his tone light, “it’s not like you need me to do anything for this right? I’ll see you when I wake up.”

“Ri-ight,” said Hera, “when you wake u-up.”

He felt the small prick of the needle.

_ Just breathe, _ he thought,  _ in … and out, in … and out. Hera can do this, Hera can do this and then we’re getting off this station and we’re going to be fine, I mean, who better to perform minor brain surgery than the product of rocket science, right? This is fine, this is -  _

Everything faded to black.

\--

It took a while for the world to come back into focus. First, Eiffel was aware of everything aching, like he’d pulled every muscle in his body. Opening his eyes proved difficult. The wrist restraints were already unlocked, and he lifted his hand up to rub his face to try and wake himself up, feeling like he was moving in slow motion.

He touched the spot at the back of his neck gently. The skin was tender and … sticky. He looked at his fingers. There was less blood than he’d been expecting. That was probably the weirdest reassuring thought he’d had on this station so far. Well, maybe not  _ the _ weirdest. In the top five.

Eiffel swallowed. “Hera? Are you there?”

“ _ Of c-course I am, I - whoa. _ ” He could hear Hera’s voice echoing in his head as he said the words out loud.

Or rather, as Hera said them out loud, with his voice.

“Whoa is right,” said Eiffel.

This ache in his body was fading, leaving behind it a strange sensation of tightness in his skin. Eiffel flexed his hands, curling the fingers into a fist and slowly releasing them, feeling the movement. Or, more accurately, Hera did, and Eiffel felt her experience the motion for the first time.

“ _ Is it al-always like this _ ?” said Hera.

It was slightly disconcerting to hear Hera’s voice in his head, and  _ very _ disconcerting to hear someone else talking with his voice.

“Sort of?” said Eiffel, “This feels ... different.”

He stood up, pushing open the chamber door and stumbling a little, and steadying himself on the counter next the chamber’s computer console. Eiffel could hear Hera’s thoughts, but they went by so fast he couldn’t make sense of them, only the rising sense of panic in their tone.

“Hera, it’s okay! Everything’s fine, I’m just a little dizzy, it’ll pass,” said Eiffel.

_ At least, I hope it’ll pass _ , he thought.

“ _ You  _ hope?” said Hera.

“Oh,” said Eiffel, “... I guess you can hear that stuff now, uh, what I mean is -”

“ _ Of c-course I can hear what you’re thi-ink-ing! I’m in here with y-your thoughts _ !”

Every embarrassing thing Eiffel had ever done or thought came back to him in a rush. “Um, if you could maybe ignore some of the stuff up there, that would be great.”

The part of his mind that was Hera pushed against his thoughts. It didn’t feel  _ bad _ , it was more like someone gently pressing down on his head.

“ _ Li-like what _ ?”

A burst of static from the com system by the door saved Eiffel from having to answer.

“Eiffel! Where exactly are you right now?” Minkowski did not sound pleased.

“I’m in the … communications room?”

“Oh really? That’s odd, because that’s where  _ I _ am right now and I don’t seem to see  _ you _ anywhere.”

“I mean I’m on my way  _ to _ the communications room,” said Eiffel.

“Well, get up here double time. I think something’s wrong with Hera.”

“ _ There’s n-nothing wrong with me _ ,” said Hera.

Eiffel slapped his hand over his mouth and muted the com. “If you do that she can  _ hear you _ .”

“What?” said Minkowski, sounding confused.

“ _ Well I didn’t-t know that! Thi-i-is is my first-t time in a human-an body _ !”

“Eiffel? Did you hear that?” said Minkowski.

“Just don’t say anything else while we’re on air with Minkowski okay, otherwise she’s going to know something’s up. We don’t want her to freak out before we get out of here.”

Eiffel unmuted the com.

“Hear what, Commander?” said Eiffel.

“I thought- nevermind, look, just get back up here so we can fix whatever problem it is in Hera’s system so we can not die before take off, okay?” said Mikowski, and hung up.

“ _I am no-not_ _having a system prob-lem_ ,” said Hera, sounding offended.

“Well,” said Eiffel, stretching out the word, “I mean, you kind of are, because you’re not  _ in  _ the system right now.”

Hera hummed, not sounding entirely convinced.

“Wait,” said Eiffel, “Hera, you’re not in the system right now!”

“ _ Yes, I know-know that Eiffel _ ,” said Hera.

“No, I mean, you’re not in the system, but the station's still running, which means it worked!” Eiffel let out a whoop. “It worked! We did it! It worked!”

“ _ I to-old you everything would-d be fine _ ,” said Hera.

“Hera,” said Eiffel, his tone as serious as he could make it while he was grinning so widely he thought he might sprain a face muscle, “you are a  _ genius _ .”

A warm-pleased feeling spread out from Hera, and Eiffel felt his smile get even wider, if that was even possible. It felt … nice.

The coms unit beeped.

“Eiffel!” said Minkowski, “When I said ‘get up here’ I meant  _ now _ .”

“Okay, okay!” said Eiffel, “Give me a second, jeez. It’s not like any alarms are going off or anything.”

“ _ Don’t _ jinx it,” said Minkowski, ending the call.

“I guess I’d better head up there before she blows a gasket,” said Eiffel.

He opened up a first aid kit that was bolted to the wall near the chamber and pulled out a small bandage.

“This should do it, right?”

Hera nodded. Using his head.

“That… is going to take some getting used to,” said Eiffel.

Hera nodded again, this time accompanied by a pleased-laughter feeling. Eiffel laughed, pulling his hoodie back on to cover up the bandage.

It was probably a good thing that the walk to the communications room was a winding one, giving them a chance to practise walking. Every few steps he could feel Hera’s flutter of panic at movement beyond her control, and he’d stumble into one of the walls.

“You just have to let me do it,” said Eiffel, “I promise, I’m an expert walker. I’ve been doing it almost all my life.”

“ _ It just feels so... “ _ Hera paused. “ _ I thought it would feel like an orbit _ .”

“You thought walking would feel like… a space station going around?”

Hera wrinkled his nose.  _ Her _ nose, Eiffel supposed, since she was the one using it to make the motion.

“ _ Not like that, but… I thought it would feel remote _ .” Her hands flexed again, the movement making his fingertips tingle. “ _ It’s… much more immediate, in the feedback _ .  _ The sensations _ .”

Eiffel paused, leaning against a wall as he felt Hera pull her thoughts together, a staticy sensation in his mind.

“Are you… you’re not hurt, are you?”

“ _ No _ ,” said Hera, “ _ I don’t think so. This body hurts, but I don’t think it’s related how I feel _ .”

“Sorry,” said Eiffel, “It’s, uh. It’ll go away, probably.”

_ “It’s fine _ ,” said Hera, “ _ Although I hope you don’t feel like this all the time _ .”

“I normally try not to move enough to pull any kind of muscle,” said Eiffel.

He smiled as he felt Hera’s buzz of amusement.

“ _ Shh _ ,” said Hera, “ _ We’re almost there _ .”

“You shh,” said Eiffel, “I’m supposed to be here.”

He scrubbed a hand over his face, hoping he didn’t look as sweaty as he felt, and stepped towards the communications room. The door was already open (a bad sign), the room illuminated in red light (a very bad sign), with a frowning Minkowski leaning over the communications array (an  _ extremely _ bad sign).

“Eiffel,” said Minkowski, her voice low, “I think- shut the door.”

A terrible, horrible, no good, very bad sign. He shut the door, trying to keep calm. There was no way Minkowski could possibly know yet, and even if she did, it was too late, Hera was already with him so if she was really against the idea she’d have to leave him on the station too-

“ _ What seems to be the problem Commander Minkowski _ ?” said Hera.

Minkowski frowned. “Eiffel?”

“What?” said Eiffel, trying to keep his voice at a normal pitch, “What’s up Commander? I mean, you called me here, remember? And what’s up with the red light of doom?”

She seemed to shake herself off whatever line of questioning she’d been about to embark on. Eiffel felt a flood of relief.

“I think there’s something wrong with Hera,” said Minkowski, “She’s stopped responding.”

Eiffel bit his tongue, the panic returning full force.

“What?” said Eiffel.

“I think Hilbert’s done something, I don’t know, maybe it’s some sort of play to get us to stay on the station, maybe he’s trying to take us all down with him, I don’t know,” said Minkowski. “It’s like he’s erased her.”

Eiffel sat down heavily in the chair, stalling. Obviously, if this had happened it would be very upsetting. When it  _ had _ happened, it had been one of the worst things he’d ever experienced in his life, waiting and hoping for Hera to come back to him and not knowing if she ever would-

“ _ Oh _ ,” said Hera.

Eiffel felt himself flush, and ducked his head so that Minkowski couldn’t see. She put her hand on his shoulder, an attempt at comfort.

“I’m sorry Doug,” said Minkowski, “I think… we don’t have a lot of time, especially without her online to monitor the Hephaestus. I know you wanted to find a way to bring her with us, and I did too, but… there’s no sign of her code. She’s gone.”

Hera prickled in his mind, a strange feeling of delight at how well of a job she’d done, at being able to do deception at all given her coding. Eiffel him the smile behind his hand as he covered his face.

“I- Are you sure?” said Eiffel.

Minkowski nodded. She left her hand on his shoulder for a moment longer before squeezing and leaning back, her hand falling awkwardly at her side.

“I’m going to check on how the pod’s fuel cells are going,” said Minkowski, “Can- when you’re ready, can you monitor the command centre? We’ve been drifting since Hera- We need to make sure we don’t fall off-course before we leave.”

Eiffel nodded. He kept his head down until Minkowski had shut the door behind her, letting out a deep breath.

“That,” said Eiffel quietly, “was close.”

Hera nodded. He could feel her pause, considering her words.

“ _ I didn’t think… well, I know Commander Minkowski has been kind to me but that was- she was a lot more upset than I’d thought she’d be _ ,” said Hera, “ _ So were you _ .”

“Of course she is, you’re friends,” said Eiffel.

“ _ She was going to leave me here to fall into the star _ .”

“Only because she didn’t think we could fit you into the escape pod,” said Eiffel, “beside, I remember you being all Jack, pushing us onto the door to float away without you.”

“ _ What _ ?”

“I mean you basically told her it was fine-”

“ _ No _ ,” said Hera, ” _ what do yo-ou mean, I was pushing you onto a do-or _ ?”

“It’s- when we get back to Earth we are going to watch  _ so many movies _ ,” said Eiffel.

Hera laughed, the sound bubbling in his chest. “ _ Okay, Officer Eiffel. _ ” 

Eiffel grinned. “It’s a date- uh. Not that we-”

The station jolted slightly. Space turbulence.

“ _ Space doesn’t h-have turbulence like that _ ,” said Hera, “ _ We had better get to-o the command centre _ .”

Unfortunately, the command centre was already occupied by the time they got there. Even more unfortunately one of the occupants was Hilbert, although it was heartening, as always, to see Lovelace aiming a gun at him.

“Eiffel, good, you’re here,” said Lovelace, “see if you can find any zip ties for the good doctor.”

“Uh, sure,” said Eiffel. He stepped towards the drawer that he knew had some, pausing and pulling open the drawer he knew  _ didn’t _ have them, making a show of rummaging around. 

“Not that I’m against it,” said Eiffel, “But what did he do now-”

“ _ Besides killing m- Hera _ ,” interrupted Hera.

Lovelace’s eyes were fixed on Hilbert. “I think that’s enough, don’t you?”

“I did nothing of the sort,” said Hilbert, “if you wanted to kill me, I would prefer you do it instead of making up ridiculous excuses.”

“ _ You’ve done it before _ ,” said Hera, reaching for the drawer with the zipties.

“For a reason,” said Hilbert, “What reason do I have now, when I am about to leave?”

“What reason did you have when you did it to my crew?” said Lovelace, “I know where your loyalties lie.”

“Maybe so,” said Hilbert, “but it seems unlikely that Goddard would have us plunge to our deaths in the star, no?”

“No,” said Lovelace, “I’d say that sounds pretty in line with their policies.”

Hilbert huffed a breath. “Then I would blow up the core. I would not give you such a long time to torture me.”

Lovelace’s grip tightened on the gun. “I don’t know about that. You’ve always been a fan of the long game-”

“What the hell is going on here?” said Minkowski.

“Uh,” said Eiffel.

“ _ We’re m-making a citizen’s arrest _ ,” said Hera.

Minkowski ignored them. “Lovelace. Come on.”

“He did it,” said Lovelace, “He did it  _ again _ , and this time he’s actually going to pay-”

The station rumbled again, the lights flickering and returning in a red hue.

“ _ Uh oh _ ,” said Hera. “ _ I… may have mis-miscalculated _ .”

“Miscalculated?” whispered Eiffel.

“HEPHAESTUS ORBIT LOST,” said the station AI in Hera’s voice, “GRAVITATIONAL PULL INCREASING BY 5%.”

“Commander,” said Hilbert, “you must let me correct the controls, as I was trying to do before I was attacked-”

“You wanted this to happen,” said Lovelace, “You-”

The station rumbled again, shuddering under their feet and making Eiffel stumble. Hera reached out a hand, steadying him on the edge of the control panel.

“Thanks,” said Eiffel.

MInkowski gave him an odd look. “Eiffel, wh-”

“GRAVITATIONAL PULL INCREASING BY 13%.”

“Commander Minkowski-” said Hilbert.

“Yes, do it,” said Minkowski.

Lovelace jerked her gun as Hilbert moved and he froze again, his back to the wall. Minkowski stepped forward, putting her hand on Lovelace’s arm.

“Captain Lovelace,” said Minkowski, “lower your weapon.”

“You know what he did Minkowski,” said Lovelace, “You know what he’s capable of.”

“I do,” said Minkowski, “but if we don’t let him try, we’ll fall into the star whether it’s part of his plan or not.”

Lovelace didn’t move.

“Captain,” said Minkowski.

Lovelace slowly lowered her gun, and Hilbert rushed to the control panel, beginning to type. Lines of code flew past the screen, and Hera flinched.

“ _ No wonder it takes you-ou so long to do any of this stuff, _ ” said Hera.

Minkowski turned towards them. Eiffel quickly turned away, feeling his panic rise as she stepped towards him.

“Eiffel, are you… alright?”

Finally, a question he could answer honestly.

“No,” said Eiffel, “Not really.”

Minkowski gave him a very familiar look, the look that said she extremely wished that the threat of a court martial would work on him in any way. He felt Hera burble-static of laughter, and tried to school his features into something more situation-appropriate.

“I meant… I know you and Hera were close,” said Minkowski, “This must be-”

“GRAVITATIONAL PULL INCREASING BY 17%”

Minkowski pivoted. “Doctor, an update?”

“I am trying Commander,” said Hilbert, “takes time to pull something of this size back onto course, when-”

An alarm began to sound. “GRAVITATIONAL PULL INCREASING BY 18%”

“ _ I c-ould try _ ,” said Hera.

Minkowski frowned. “Eiffel, I know that this- I don’t like it any more than you do, but Hilbert’s the best shot we have right now. We trusted him to fix her once.”

“ _ And lo-ok where that got us _ ,” said Hera darkly.

“This is not as simple as your communications devices Officer Eiffel,” said Hilbett, still focussed on the screen in front of him, “You cannot-”

The station shuddered again, almost throwing them off their feet.

“GRAVITATIONAL PULL INCREASING BY 19%”

Eiffel could feel Hera itching to get at the controls, the solution to the problem laid out in an easy, familiar map in her thoughts. If he could get her to the control panel, she could fix it, he knew she could.

“Commander, I  _ really  _ think you should let me -”

“Now is  _ not _ the time for you to try your hand at computer programming Officer Eiffel,” snapped Hilbert.

“I get that, it’s just that -”

Minkowski put a hand on his arm. “Look Eiffel, I don’t like giving Hilbert control of this station any more than you do, but with Hera offline he’s the only one who might be able to get us back on course.”

The station began to shake even more than before, the panels of the walls rattling.

“Well whatever he’s doing it’s not working,” said Eiffel through gritted teeth.

“Would be easier with  _ quiet _ ,” said Hilbert.

The alarms grew louder, this time accompanied by flashing red lights.

“GRAVITATIONAL PULL INCREASING BY 20%” said the station’s speakers.

“Hilbert?” said Minkowski.

“I’m doing everything I can Commander!” said Hilbert, not looking away from the screen, “but it is as though every command I enter is rerouted by the Hephaestus’s systems.”

“ _ That’s bec-because you’re do-doing i-it wrong _ !” said Hera.

She pushed Hilbert out of the way and began scrolling through the lines of code, her hands typing faster than Eiffel could have even on his best day. Hilbert pulled at her shoulder, but a swift kick to his knee sent him spinning away from her.

“That’s my girl,” said Eiffel.

“ _ I-I would be lying if I sa-aid I hadn’t wanted to do that for a whi-while _ ,” said Hera.

Lovelace cocked her gun. “Eiffel, step away from the controls.”

Hera didn’t respond. 

“Captain Lovelace -” said Minkowski.

There was the sound of a scuffle behind him but Eiffel didn’t turn to see what it was. He could feel Hera searching in her mind for the right piece of code. It was like directing someone to find something on your bedside table in the dark - you can picture it in your mind, you know exactly where it is, but explaining the directions to someone else takes time.

Lovelace pressed the barrel of the gun against the back of Eiffel’s head.

“Hera, please tell me you almost have this,” said Eiffel.

“ _ Just-t give me one more - got i-it! _ ”

The red lights stopped flashing, and the station’s engines kicked into life. Hilbert, Minkowski, and Lovelace stumbled backwards as the station thrust forward. Eiffel grabbed hold of the control panel with one hand while Hera continued to type with his other hand.

“REPLOTTING NAVIGATIONAL ROUTE,” said the station’s speakers, shutting on the alarms, “GRAVITATIONAL PULL BACK WITHIN NOMINAL PARAMETERS.”

“ _ See Eiffel, _ ” said Hera, teasingly, “ _ I told-d you I had i-it _ .”

Eiffel let out a sigh that was half-laugh, half pure relief. “I never doubted you for a second.”

“Eiffel?” said Minkowski, “What exactly is going on?”

Eiffel realised that Minkowski, Lovelace, and Hilbert were staring at him. 

“Uh,” said Eiffel.

“ _ Well, th-the thing is Commander-er _ -” said Hera.

“I mean it’s kind of complicated?” said Eiffel.

“Uncomplicate it,” said Minkowski, “because on top of your recent … odd behaviour, I just saw you have a conversation  _ with yourself _ .”

“Hey, I just saved all our lives!” said Eiffel, “So maybe you could cut me some slack here.” Hera coughed pointedly. “Okay, I mean, Hera did the heavy lifting, but I helped! Uh, I mean -”

“Hera’s offline Eiffel,” said Minkowski gently, “she’s been offline for two hours. Her code is gone.”

Eiffel bit the inside of his cheek. “That may not be … entirely accurate.”

“Eiffel,” said Lovelace, looking serious, “what did you do with the station’s AI?”

“I kind of … okay, so we were trying to figure out a way to get Hera off the station with us, and I came up with this … idea. And then Hera figured out a way to do it, and now she’s .. not in the station system any more?” Eiffel’s voice rose in pitch as he spoke.

Minkowski rubbed her eyes. “Eiffel -”

“ _ What Offi-cer Eiffel means is that we-e figured out a way to upload part of my personality and conci-ousness into his brain _ ,” said Hera, “ _ honestly Commander I d-don’t see what the big de-al is, it’s been working-ing perfectly.” _

“Hera!” said Eiffel, “I was easing them into it!”

“You  _ what _ ?” said Minkowski, “Is that even possible?”

Hilbert hummed, rubbing his chin. “Perhaps. If AI’s personality coding had been sufficiently separated and pared down, is  _ possible _ it could be transferred to the brain of a living creature, although such a procedure has high probability of instant brain death in patient.”

“Okay,” said Lovelace, “say, just for the sake of argument, that I believe any of this. Why?”

“Why what?” said Eiffel.

“Why would you even want to do this in the first place?”

“Well of course  _ you _ don’t get it, you were just going to blow her up!”

“Eiffel, calm down,” said Minkowski, “You just -”

“No! Do  _ not  _ tell me to calm down okay, Minkowski! I  _ tried _ to come up with another plan, I asked you and I asked Lovelace and I even checked in with Doctor Frankenstein to see if  _ he _ had any bright ideas, but you all told me the same thing, you all told me that I had to just  _ leave _ Hera behind to be  _ blown up _ , and I couldn’t just sit there and let it happen. I had to do  _ something _ .”

“And that something was turning yourself into a living external hard drive?” said Lovelace, “Why put yourself  _ and everyone else on this station _ in so much danger?”

“Because I- I-”

_ Love her _ , thought Eiffel.

“ _ You  _ love  _ me _ ?” said Hera.

“Oh good lord,” said Minkowski.

“I-” said Eiffel, “it’s- I mean. Of course I do.”

He could feel his thoughts open up under Hera, all the thousand tiny moments laid bare before her. Talking later at night, with only her voice and the stars. The curl of her laugh. Stupid bets. Sitting together as music played from across the galaxy.  _ Hera, are you there _ ?

“ _ Oh _ ,” said Hera, “ _ You- here _ -”

There was a strange sensation, a peeling back, an opening in the back of his mind and it was -

It was himself, a rush of warmth at the sound of his voice, the comfort of a moment of quiet under the stars as she worked on a thousand things in the background. His laughter mixing with her’s as it bounced off the corridors.  _ Of course I’m here _ .

“Oh- you,” Eiffel managed, “as in- you too-?”

“ _ Yes Officer Eiffel _ ,” said Hera, “ _ me too _ .”

A smile slowly grew across his face, matching the curl of warmth that spread out from his chest. He wasn’t entirely sure who it belonged to, but he didn’t entirely mind.

“Eiffel,” said Minkowski, “how…?”

Gingerly, Eiffel reached up, peeling the bandage off his neck. “I, uh. Hera did most of the work.”

“ _ It’s a relatively simple pro-procedure _ ,” said Hera.

“You could have died,” said Minkowski, “You  _ both _ could have died.”

“ _ That’s part o-of the simplicity, _ ” said Hera, “ _ It w-ould be very easy to know if it hadn’t worked _ .”

“I’m… not sure how we’re going to explain this one when we get back,” said Minkowski, after a moment.

Lovelace shrugged. “It makes as much sense as anything else that’s happened on this station.” She paused. “Pretty good proof of how ethically wild Goddard can be, too, considering they gave Hilbert the equipment to be able to do something like this.”

Hilbert scoffed. “I would not have done it.”

“No, you wouldn’t have,” said Lovelace. She holstered her gun. “Good thing Eiffel’s here.”

Hera smiled. “ _ Yes _ .”

Eiffel felt himself blush. “I, uh. Same to you, Hera-”

Minkowski put a hand on his arm. Eiffel looked up, surprised to see that they were alone in the room, Lovelace already marching Hilbert out the door.

“Not to interrupt but- the pod’s ready to go, and after all this I’d hate for you to miss it.”

Eiffel huffed a laugh. “Right, Commander.”

It was a flurry of movement after that, double checking their supplies, making sure (really, really sure) that Hilbert was locked down and unconscious in one of the sleeper pods before they disembarked. Hera dug her nails into his palm as the pod screeched its way out of the Hephaestus, both of them holding their breath and the craft drifted for a moment before the engines kicked in.

“Captain?” said Minkowski.

“All systems nominal,” said Lovelace, “Flight path set, sleeper pod rotation minus the good doctor, set.”

Minkowski smiled, some of the tension in her shoulders loosening. “Alright. I’ll take the first shift. You and Eiffel- and Hera, get some rest.”

Eiffel settled down into the pod, trying to get comfortable.

“ _ Oh _ !” said Hera.

“What?”

“ _ I just- you-ou asked me on a date _ ,” said Hera, “ _ before _ .  _ So you meant _ -”

Eiffel felt himself blush. “I mean, yeah, I- Hera, I did already say I was in love with you-”

“ _ Yes but _ -” Hera’s hands fluttered, “ _ A date. I’ve never been on o-one. Obviously _ .”

“We’ll start with the classics,” said Eiffel, “We’ll get pizza, and we’ll go to the… the planetarium! There’s one nearby the pizza place we’ll go to, I think, or there was when I left. We’ll look at the stars.”

Hera hummed. “ _ I’d like that, I think. I always… I liked looking at the stars with you-ou _ .”

Eiffel turned his head, looking out the tiny window of the pod as the Hephaestus grew smaller behind them, disappearing among the stars that he had looked out at for so many long days and longer nights with Hera.

“Me too, sweetheart,” said Eiffel, “We’ll do that again, just on land instead floating in the void of space.”

“ _ I’m looking forward to it, _ ” said Hera, “ _ It’ll be nice to have the difference in perspective _ .”

Eiffel smiled, the curl of warmth in his chest carrying them both into sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi: mariusperkins on most places


End file.
